Boston continues to be inspirational to me. I have had mini-revolutions in my mind and heart…new ways of seeing and understanding my book. I am, however, somewhat overwhelmed by how to translate my new ways of seeing into the book itself.
I was at an eccentric museum the other day and was so drawn to this small awkward sketch of a dancer on the wall. She was not perfect. But she took my gaze and invited me to see something, though I was not sure what I was being invited to see.
The curator there had already sort of befriended me. He was a kind, bearded old man with a passion for art and a thick accent. He saw me looking at the sketch. I asked him to tell me its story. He asked me if I had noticed the French writing at the top of the sketch…I hadn’t. He explained it translated, “Sorry for the imperfections…I had to draw her with my left hand.”
The artist of the sketch is Degas, the famous French impressionist. The curator explained to me that he drew the picture for a dear friend of his, but because Degas would spend sometimes 20 hours a day painting with his right hand, he was injured and had to sketch this one with his left.
So that explained the awkwardness. But it also explained to me why I was intrigued; why I found it so beautiful.
I am not comparing myself to genius…but I do feel like the act of translating my heart into words on a page is like trying to draw with my left hand. (And I can’t even draw with my right hand.) Words are so difficult, “a raid on the inarticulate” as Eliot says.
But, I love that awkward dancer, because I am reminded again that it is not perfection that is always the most compelling. Something important is worth doing, even if you cannot do it perfectly. The more I think on, dwell in, reflect, love (and yes hate!) my book project, and the more I see so much more about the topic I am writing on…the more my mind and heart expand…but can I communicate what I am seeing? Can I paint an impressionist painting with words…and can what is true and good overcome my awkwardness as a writer?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Boston Update #3
OK, people, sorry no pictures for you, but here's a quick update.
My day started at 12:30 a.m. with pandemonium outside my window, thanks to a fabulous come from behind win by the Boston Red Sox. I was wanting to be sleeping, but I can totally appreciate such fanfare!
I spent my morning writing, and I discovered that not even getting out of bed, but just rolling over and grabbing my computer and starting right away before I am very awake actually makes for some good "rough drafting." I am learning that I write best very late at night and just after waking in the morning. I guess I write best when I am hovering between consciousness and dreamland. I think that the more awake I am, the more my internal editor gets hyper-vigilant. But when I am relaxed, the words flow.
I am at almost 45,000 words! This is exciting.
I then spent the afternoon walking around Harvard Square again and trying to track down how to get medicine I left in Seattle transferred to a pharmacy in Boston. That took hours to make happen...and I was feeling sick and frustrated. But, it is finally taken care of. It is good for me to know that I feel crappy when I don't take my medication, because then I can't be in denial that I need it! Hooray for living in a place with access to medical care.
After that fiasco, I worked some more, not on my book, but on that 100-women event happening in Seattle that I am helping to plan. See my other blog for more of that project. I am so excited about it, and so thrilled to get to work with some pretty amazing women who are all planning the event together. Yah for organizing! Now we are starting to spread word to other women in other cities, so that on Nov. 1, just days before the election, women will be gathering together, watching Iron Jawed Angels, and remembering to vote on election day! If you want to come to the event in Seattle, we still have a few tickets left. (You can find out how to register by going to my other blog.)
My day started at 12:30 a.m. with pandemonium outside my window, thanks to a fabulous come from behind win by the Boston Red Sox. I was wanting to be sleeping, but I can totally appreciate such fanfare!
I spent my morning writing, and I discovered that not even getting out of bed, but just rolling over and grabbing my computer and starting right away before I am very awake actually makes for some good "rough drafting." I am learning that I write best very late at night and just after waking in the morning. I guess I write best when I am hovering between consciousness and dreamland. I think that the more awake I am, the more my internal editor gets hyper-vigilant. But when I am relaxed, the words flow.
I am at almost 45,000 words! This is exciting.
I then spent the afternoon walking around Harvard Square again and trying to track down how to get medicine I left in Seattle transferred to a pharmacy in Boston. That took hours to make happen...and I was feeling sick and frustrated. But, it is finally taken care of. It is good for me to know that I feel crappy when I don't take my medication, because then I can't be in denial that I need it! Hooray for living in a place with access to medical care.
After that fiasco, I worked some more, not on my book, but on that 100-women event happening in Seattle that I am helping to plan. See my other blog for more of that project. I am so excited about it, and so thrilled to get to work with some pretty amazing women who are all planning the event together. Yah for organizing! Now we are starting to spread word to other women in other cities, so that on Nov. 1, just days before the election, women will be gathering together, watching Iron Jawed Angels, and remembering to vote on election day! If you want to come to the event in Seattle, we still have a few tickets left. (You can find out how to register by going to my other blog.)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Boston: Update #2
Today was an excellent "settling in" sort of day. I found my first neighborhood book store (see pic) and found my first delightful coffee shop (see pic). The pictures of cool looking buildings were ones I took while visiting my friend Deb in Providence, Rhode Island on Monday.
I am discovering something slightly terrifying about Boston—crazy 7-way intersections. Now, if you know me very well at all, you know I hate crossing the street. I love that Seattle tickets jay walkers or people crossing against the light, because I have at least an excuse for my timidity. But, here in Boston, I would never get anywhere if I always waited for the light, and nobody else ever does, so I feel so silly standing on the corner...but I can't keep track of which direction all the traffic is coming from, so I stand there looking perplexed. I suppose I'll get used to it. I am just so thankful I am not driving around here (and the Bostonians should be thankful for that, too).
Other than that nuisance, Boston has been very kind to me. So much for the rumors that east coasters are rude. I seem to be meeting all sorts of friendly people. Someone yesterday even payed for my subway ticket when mine appeared to not be working. I am sure there are reasons for the rumors of rudeness...but I have up to this point enjoyed very nice Bostonians.
I am feeling settled in. Writing went well today; yesterday I think I was feeling overwhelmed with the amount of time available to me. I expected my muse to show up immediately, and that is not how she works. But, today was a good start. I skimmed over my already written chapters and started to sense the unfolding story....
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
"Living the dream, Kim George."
That’s what my friend Nick Vu says. He has been saying it for some time, and it has seeped into my imagination.
There are lovely moments when I feel like I really am "living the dream," like today when I was kicking leaves and meandering around Harvard Square. I then managed to navigate the 1.5 hour walk back to my home-away-from-home adorable Boston apartment, where I will be living and writing for the next several weeks. I could have taken the subway, but it was a perfect 70 degrees and there were too many things I wanted to notice along the way, like ivy-covered brick buildings and old bridges and, alas, cute men in sweater vests reading along the side of the river.
But tonight, my adrenaline for life has ceased and I just feel those lingering doubts and fears about what it will mean to attempt to get so much written these next few weeks. I have been given an amazing gift—several weeks of space to just plunge into the story of my book. I plan to write in the mornings until early afternoon, and then explore Boston into the late afternoon, looking for the types of beautiful places that make me come alive. But, whenever I go on these writing retreats (and up to this point, they have only been 4 days long), I must transition through all the frustration of self-doubt and loneliness that seem to enter whenever I try to find my voice and really risk on something.
(I will try to do frequent and short updates on my blog, not because anyone needs to care what I am thinking about on a daily basis, but because it feels like I am reaching out to home, and I like that feeling.)
There are lovely moments when I feel like I really am "living the dream," like today when I was kicking leaves and meandering around Harvard Square. I then managed to navigate the 1.5 hour walk back to my home-away-from-home adorable Boston apartment, where I will be living and writing for the next several weeks. I could have taken the subway, but it was a perfect 70 degrees and there were too many things I wanted to notice along the way, like ivy-covered brick buildings and old bridges and, alas, cute men in sweater vests reading along the side of the river.
But tonight, my adrenaline for life has ceased and I just feel those lingering doubts and fears about what it will mean to attempt to get so much written these next few weeks. I have been given an amazing gift—several weeks of space to just plunge into the story of my book. I plan to write in the mornings until early afternoon, and then explore Boston into the late afternoon, looking for the types of beautiful places that make me come alive. But, whenever I go on these writing retreats (and up to this point, they have only been 4 days long), I must transition through all the frustration of self-doubt and loneliness that seem to enter whenever I try to find my voice and really risk on something.
(I will try to do frequent and short updates on my blog, not because anyone needs to care what I am thinking about on a daily basis, but because it feels like I am reaching out to home, and I like that feeling.)
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